Where to now???

Since my divorce got settled, I have had a really uneasy feeling. Not sure what to do with my time, where to focus, what to work on.

I couldn't figure out why I was so out of sorts until I was speaking to a friend of mine hashing out some of the things that have happened over the past 3 years. Then it finally came to me: I was/am suffering from withdrawal. For the past three years, hours of my life have been consumed with reading legal correspondence, reading or sending emails, making phone calls, spending hours trying to figure out the proper course of action on several issues and generally trying to find some room to sleep.

Now suddenly, it is over. I actually have free time. I have nothing consuming my thoughts, no pressing matters. And the most shocking thing I find is that I need to learn how to find things to do. Or more accurately, decide what I want to do with the time I now have. You see, up until the divorce was settled, I did not have this luxury. I had no time to waste if I wanted to get all the housework done, groceries bought, car fixed, etc. With so much time being consumed by something I had no choice over (legal proceedings), I simply had to react to everything else.

So, as I move forward, it will be an experience learning how to focus again. It is easy to focus when you have your back against the wall and need to be able to focus if you want to survive. I am learning it is much harder to relearn how to focus once that all-consuming part of your life disappears and leaves a huge void. But I'll get there. Hopefully sooner rather than later.